After writing that last post, I can almost understand how date-rape happens. It's all based on assumption. It's not true that men are similar to women. In actual sense, they come from Mars and we come from Venus. Before the date, the chick's probably thinking
*Today, am going to spend some time getting to know this brother
*I won't take everything too personal
*Maybe i'll let him hug me
*I might let him kiss me good night, depending on how it goes
*Wonder what our babies would look like: they better not have my ears, they can have his nose
Then the guy, on the other hand, might be thinking
*Have to look good, she's finally said yes,yes!!
*Wonder how long till I get to lay her. Knowing these chicks, It's gon be months!
*We'll see if she's worth the wait
*I need to play my cards right, look out for the signals
So,when they go out, she's as sweet as hell and he's gentlemanly to a fault. when he holds her hand, she lets him take it. When he puts his arm round her shoulder, she reminds herself not to take it personal and loosens up. In the car when he touches her knee, She says to herself, 'don't worry, he's just reminding you that we are here, in this moment.' Then she thinks she won't let him kiss her good night cause she's already let him do quite abit, he might think she's loose. So when he walks her up to her door and she puts out a hand to shake, doesn't get it.And the chick also thinks tis her fault, that she led him on.
A lesser man will think WTF? She's been leading me on? I don't think so. . . and then the chick gets raped becuse 'she wanted it' or she 'had it coming'
Maybe the best thing to do is to keep it extremely platonic on date one. No matter how much rapport you have. No unscheduled touching. Better yet, say it loud and say it proud, "I don't get down on the first night, or the second or the third or..." Date two, you can afford to loosen up a lil bit.
On a serious note 'ASSUME MAKES AN ASS OUT OF U AND ME' and that's for real. So... don't assume someone knows what's going on, ensure that they do.You dig?
Friday, June 29, 2007
THE SEQUEL
Posted by Elle B at 1:13 AM
Labels: say it as it is
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10 comments:
haaaa...u have the whole setting in ur head, from the date to when he drops u back home..me i think stuff shud flow..chemistry..man that stuff of pre-plannin doesnt work, but how many dates have i ever been on?..ok minus countin the times my female friends are housin me..ZILCH!!
first time here,am dying to claim the firsty since joshi didnt.
So about this whole assume thing,never thought of it as the ass out of u and me,not bad,not bad.
We sure are different,thats y i love to play clean asap with a guy that way you both know what to expect.
Besides if its gona be hot romance a man has to respect you and not assume.
@joshi;gals often have those things running in their minds,not plans as such,think its the uncertainity of being alone a guy.
nawe start doing the housing also
@Joshi
It isn't pre planning, just an idea ofwhat runs through people's heads at times like these. It's about chemistry but you need to be on the same page wit the person your getting chemical with or about
@Duksey
Darling,you definately get the picture. I read your reply to Joshi and I thought it was the one I'd written. And my teacher taught me that assume thingie so i'll pass on the credit.
This is exactly what has been going through my mind this week. I almost lost a new friend because of these differences between men and women.
this is how stuff works: some chicks are loose or weak, if we should brand them thus. so a smart guy will know if she's 'layable' material on the first date, or she's the element that will drive u behaving right and gentlemanly. it all up to the girl, really, to play her cards well, if no want 'rape' on date 1.
Well .. yeah, we tend to think of getting laid whenever we think of a date. That's not bad. It's just a role we fill. It's how the world piles up with wet-nosed mini-humans.
It's that drive that separates men from women on a date.
It's not necessarily that we expect it - and I'm not talking for all of them; I'm just shy to say `I' - it'd just that it is a distant, nice possibility.
But there is a limit to assumptions. And there can't be a valid excuse for date rape. I can't be made to believe it wasn't entirely pre-meditated.
on a lighter note
assume in thesaurus:
presume,infer,give,presuppose,take for granted,suppose,deem beleive,gather.
hey , which assumption are you talking about exactly? all are pretty important in sustaining or desustaining a relationship!
Hey people.
@the 27th Comrade.
I didn't mean to imply that date rape is pre-meditated. I don't believe it is. I was just trying to bring out likely scenarious that may cause it to happen.
@cb
It's not only up to the girl. It's up to the two of you since it's your faults you went out together in the first place!
And if a girl behaved reckless on date one. Would you justify her rape? I think brothers should be man enough to apologize for misunderstanding such girls and then go punch a wall or something. Better to vent on an inanimate object, right?
@Indiana
The thesaurus is right on all those fronts and my point still stands: better to be sure than make a mess of things
right. convinced.
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