BE SEEING YOU

To think
I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard
Not to cry
And as we say
our long good byes
I almost do

- Run (Snow Patrol)

Hi Luv,

It feels wrong writing this. Never thought I'd see the day. I'm trying to accept the fact that you are not here, that the next time I go by your house, I won't be cueing up to make you smile. I'm working on using the right tense whenever I speak about you. It hurts afresh every single time.

You don't know this but I've really been looking forward to you. I couldn't wait to get to know you, find out how your mind works. I'd already pictured me imparting nonsense packaged as wisdom. I saw you getting it.

Keira, it might seem a bit strange but I guess its time I admitted I had you investigated. Yeah, babe, I did my homework on you using your birth dates. I couldn't discover your past, you didn't have much of one, but boy, did I catch a glimpse of your future. I found out what you would be like when you were all grown up. The stuff I found out said you were peaceful and affectionate. It promised you'd be a little tyrant, always aiming for perfection. It said you valued solitude because you were an analytical thinker of the first order.

You have no idea how much I was looking forward. I know that regardless of whether you'd turned out like my notes said or different, you'd have been a marvel because you've got the world's coolest mum and dad. Your numerous aunties and uncles and grannies aren't half bad either.

Everyone was shaken when they heard the news. Especially your grannies who'd seen you once or not at all. We forgot that life is fleeting, you seemed so solid, it never occurred to us that you could leave so... so fast. This might take a while to heal because your absence has left a gaping hole in our existences. But we are glad we got to meet you, if only for a month and a half.

You're beautiful, Keira and I don't have to say it, coz you already know,but we'll miss you.

I love you

Your aunt