Unemployment S2,E1

4:30 am
So... the job thingee didn't go as planned (in my dreams). I'm back on the streets, nah, that's a lie, am back in my bed. Dreaming, scheming and planning. The other day, I slept through all the garbage guy's efforts to take out our trash. See, with the coming of a job came common sense; I'd learnt to take the trash out the night before. Exit job, exit sense. But no sweat. It gave me something to laugh about. Back in the day, I used to sleep through his knocking on the door and then fall out of bed on his last attempt. By the time, i'd reach, his truck would be pulling away from the gate.No energy to shout, I'd cook up some excuses (like he never showed) for sisters dearest or bribe the gate guy to go chuck it somewhere if I'd missed entirely too many opportunities.

It was so bad, i used to dream about the rubbish man, for crying out loud.I once dreamt that I was married to this rich guy who insisted that we have a butler. When I heard the knock (i guess i was subconciously waiting for it), I asked Stanley, our butler, to take out the trash. Yeah, you guessed it; Stanely disobeyed a direct order.

Enough about the Rubbish Diaries. The only reason I'm awake at this hour is coz am in a strange house, strange bed with strange creatures that keep making noises every time I get comfortable. I thought house sitting was all good but I'm rethinking it.

I don't do idle well. My favourite pass time these days is pacing. Exhausting business. I'm trying to psyche myself to carpe diem or die trying but I seem to be doing more of the latter (trying to die) than anything else. I need a plan.

Eh, and I've just finished Steve Harvey's Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. Armed with this useful information, I'm going out into the world and demanding that the men I date get my bill (no more splitting coz I don't want you to think am after your dimes. Steve says I'm powerful and shouldn't give a bleep what you think), open my doors and pull out my chairs. I think it also said something about massaging my feet but I have to get back to y'all on that one.